***********************************************************

As Bill Sees It

Maudlin Martyrdom, p. 238

"Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects we
know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective
communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands
for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom,
which we can ill afford.

"The remedy? Well, let's have a hard look at ourselves, and a still
harder one at A.A.'s Twelve Steps to recovery. When we see how
many of our fellow A.A.'s have used the Steps to transcend great
pain and adversity, we shall be inspired to try these life-giving
principles for ourselves."

Letter, 1966

***********************************************************

Walk In Dry Places
 
Finding Our Real Selves
Building Self-esteem
Many of us sold ourselves short while we were drinking. We wanted approval and
acceptance, but often felt unworthy of it, even accepting the unfavorable
opinions others had toward us.  We resented such opinions, but secretly feared that  our critics were right.
In the Twelve Step program, however, we discover a higher and better self
that hadn't found expression during active drinking.  We no longer have to impress anybody, we no longer need applause, and we no longer crave the false camaraderie that passes for friendship among problem drinkers. We can, in many ways, become new people.
When we experience such change and growth, we may come to wonder how we
ever could have been so deluded by the sick self of our drinking years. We feel relief when we realize that we no longer have to live and think that way....  if we continue in the program and make sobriety our highest priority. We will realize too that the self we find in sobriety is the real  self.... a person who was there all along but was crowded out and suppressed by the demands of our sick nature.  This real self is what we were created to be, and sobriety brought its discovery.
I'll go about my affairs today knowing that my real self is what God wants me to be. Being sober, I can now find answers and opportunities that were beyond my reach when I was still drinking.

***********************************************************

Keep It Simple
 
Things do not change, we do. ---Henry David Thoreau
There are still as many bars as there were when we were drinking. There are still lots of drugs around. The world hasn’t changed. What’s changed is that we now live a different way of life.
We’ve learned that, for us, alcohol and other drugs are poison.
For us, there are now two worlds: the world we left behind, and our new world of recovery. In our old world, we’d try to get everyone else to change. We had the right. In our new world, we look for ways we can change for the better. In our new life, we’re willing to change.
Prayer for the Day:  I pray that I may be like a mighty river, always changing.
Action for the Day:  I will list changes I need to make in my new life.

***********************************************************

Each Day a New Beginning

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.  --Kathleen Casey Theisen
Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive compliance with whatever is occurring need no longer dominate our pattern of behavior. Powerlessly watching our lives go by was common for many of us, and our feelings of powerlessness escalated the more idle we were.
Today, action is called for, thoughtful action in response to the situations begging for our attention. Recovery's greatest gift is the courage to take action, to make decisions that will benefit us as well as the people who are close to us. Courage is the byproduct of our spiritual progress, courage to accept what we cannot change, believing that all will be well, courage to change in ourselves what we do have control over.
An exhilaration about life accompanies the taking of action. The spell that idleness casts over us is broken, and subsequent actions are even easier to take. Clearly, making a choice and acting on it is healthful. The program has given us the tools to do both.
Decisions will be called for today. I will be patient with myself, and thoughtful. I will listen closely to the guidance that comes from those around me.

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

But for every man who drinks others are involved—the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away.

p. 104

***********************************************************

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY - This young alcoholic stepped out a second-story window and into A.A.

Because my college was fairly small, it did not take long for me to come to the attention of the college deans.  It was under their watchful eyes that I first agreed to enter counseling.  While the administration saw this as an opportunity to help a troubled student, I saw it as a bargain.  I would go to counseling to make them happy, and they would owe me one.  Not surprisingly, the counseling had no effect.  My daily drinking continued unabated.

p. 424

***********************************************************

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose."

At first glance, it did look like a good thing. Then doubt crept in. The association wanted to use our member's full name in all its advertising; he was to be described both as its director of publicity and as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Of course, there couldn't be the slightest objection if such an association hired an A.A. member solely because of his public relations ability and his knowledge of alcoholism. But that wasn't the whole story, for in this case not only was an A.A. member to break his anonymity at a public level, he was to link the name Alcoholics Anonymous to this particular educational project in the minds of millions. It would be bound to appear that A.A. was now backing education--liquor trade association style.

p. 158

***********************************************************

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by
people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
--Dale Carnegie

Sometimes lack of thought is a very good sign. It means you are totally
relaxed and have control of your mind.
--unknown

Getting the job done requires doing your work, not just talking about
it.
--unknown

When we take things for granted we forget life is a gift.
--unknown

Love is a gift to your self.
--unknown

In quiet meditation I listen to my own Higher Power.
I connect with my personal spirituality in my own time and place.
--Ruth Fishel

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

PURPOSE

"I have never doubted that God
created man for great purposes .
. . "
-- Preston Bradley

I am special today. I know that there is a purpose for my life and that
it is essentially good and creative. I know that beauty is not just in
things that I can see . . . beauty is also in me. Today I affirm my great
purpose in this world . . . to be the best that I can be.

For too many years I gave my God-given power away; I gave it to
alcohol, I gave it to people, I gave it to a belief system that did not
make sense to me. Today I am discovering the power that God has
given to me, and I feel good about myself. Today I reclaim my divinity.

Creator of this wonderful universe, make me an instrument of Your
peace.

***********************************************************

"If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit."
Galatians 5:25

"On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried
out, saying, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. "He who
believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow
rivers of living water."
John 7:37-38

"I will praise the name of God with a song, And will magnify Him with
thanksgiving."
Psalm 69:30

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His
own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who
called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."
1 Peter 2:9

***********************************************************

Daily Inspiration

When children speak, listen. They freely share the joys of life that we are often too preoccupied to remember. Lord, help me bring back those qualities that I had as a child that would allow me to be more lighthearted, more playful and more determined to live happy.

Enthusiasm keeps the mind young and the spirit growing. Lord, may I always see wonder in the ordinary happenings of my day.

***********************************************************

NA Just For Today

Choosing Life

"Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary"
Basic Text p.16

Active addiction is a smoldering death-wish. Each of us courted death every time we used. Our lifestyles, too, put us at risk. The life of an addict is sold cheaply with every day and every dose.

In recovery, the first pattern we change is the pattern of using. Staying clean is the start of our journey into life. But our self-destructive behavior usually went far deeper than just our using. Even in recovery, we may still treat ourselves as if we are worthless. When we treat ourselves badly, we feel badly. And when we feel badly, we seek relief-maybe even in our old solution, drugs.

Choosing recovery means choosing life. We decide each day that we want to live and be free. Each time we avoid self-destructive behavior, we choose recovery.

Just for today: I will choose life by choosing recovery. I will take care of myself.

***********************************************************

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If you have butterflies in your stomach ask them into your heart. --Cooper Edens
We've all had butterflies in our stomachs. It happens on the first day of school or the first day on a new job. It happens most anytime we try something new or risky. These butterflies are nervous and fluttery and sometimes we wish we could just go back to bed.
But the best thing we can do, and sometimes the only thing, is go right ahead and walk into that new situation with head held high. We will probably feel awkward at first, but that is natural and it will pass.
Our nervousness can change into excitement and joy for what we are doing. We can begin to feel proud when we walk through our fear. It is a true accomplishment when we don't let our fear stop us--when, instead, we let the butterfly in our hearts unfold.
When I have the butterflies today, will I enjoy their beauty?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
One cannot always be a hero, but one can always be a man. --Goethe
In our all or nothing and grandiose lifestyles, many of us have had a lot of experience being heroes and being failures. Until we had achieved some sanity we didn't have much experience with being ordinary, genuine men. Many of us thought there was something fundamentally wrong with us. We tried to be great, and when we failed we felt less than human. Our shame in those experiences seemed to say we would never be normal again.
We are learning that being genuine is far more fulfilling than being great. We no longer have to swing between the opposite extremes of hero and coward. When we become honest with ourselves, we develop an internally respectful relationship with ourselves. That is when we become true men. The courage it has taken for us and others on this journey to become honest is heroic in the deepest sense of the word.
As I find the courage to be honest, I will become more genuine.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. --Kathleen Casey Theisen
Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive compliance with whatever is occurring need no longer dominate our pattern of behavior. Powerlessly watching our lives go by was common for many of us, and our feelings of powerlessness escalated the more idle we were.
Today, action is called for, thoughtful action in response to the situations begging for our attention. Recovery's greatest gift is the courage to take action, to make decisions that will benefit us as well as the people who are close to us. Courage is the byproduct of our spiritual progress, courage to accept what we cannot change, believing that all will be well, courage to change in ourselves what we do have control over.
An exhilaration about life accompanies the taking of action. The spell that idleness casts over us is broken, and subsequent actions are even easier to take. Clearly, making a choice and acting on it is healthful. The program has given us the tools to do both.
Decisions will be called for today. I will be patient with myself, and thoughtful. I will listen closely to the guidance that comes from those around me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Procrastination
Procrastination - not acting when the time is right - is a self-defeating behavior. It produces anxiety, guilt, disharmony, and a nagging consciousness of the task that life is telling us it's time to do.
We are not always procrastinating when we put off doing something. Sometimes, doing a thing before the time is right can be as self-defeating as waiting too long.
We can earn to discern the difference. Listen to yourself. Listen to the Universe. What is past due and creating anxiety and prodding within you?
Is there something in your life you are avoiding because you don't want to face it? Is there a building anxiety from putting this off?
Sometimes anger, fear, or feeling helpless can motivate procrastination. Sometimes, procrastination has simply become habitual.
Trust and listen to yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe. Watch for signs and signals. If it is time to do something, do it now. If it is not yet time, wait until the time is right.
God, help me learn to be on time and in harmony with my life. Help me tune in to and trust Divine Timing and Order.


Today I am discovering who I am. Today I am becoming my person, worthy of developing all of me. Today I am beginning to know that I am okay just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Let Your Storms Subside

Watch the pounding surf. Watch the waves lap against the shore, their beginnings somewhere far out to sea, their beginnings in a storm we might never see. Know your oneness with those waves, with the water of the sea.

Your emotions are like the surf. Sometimes they pound gently, sometimes fiercely. Sometimes the color is blue, sometimes gray. They may be the result of a storm, sometimes a squall far away. Let them pound. Let them pass through. Let them subside. Let them turn into the next wave. Each emotion is connected to a belief, a belief embedded in your soul. I am abandoned. I am deserted. I am separated from God and love. But you are not your emotions. Your emotions don't control your life, no matter how fierce, no matter how strong. No matter how relentless. No matter, at times, how overwhelming.

Let the emotions pass through. Feel all you need to feel. Say all you need to say to let the storm subside. Then pause. Wait. Rest. Let your body regroup and heal. You will have grown. You will have changed. And you'll be on your way to learning something new.

*****

more language of letting go
Stop ruining your fun

Stop comparing and judging. Those two behaviors can drain all the jor out of a perfectly good life.

We compare this time in our lives to another time. Then we decide that this time is worse, not as much fun. Or we compare our life to someone else's, and we decide the other person is having more fun and success than we are.

Comparison is judgemental. We judge this to be better than that, and this to be worse than the other. By comparing and judging, we deny ourselves the beauty of the moment and the wonder of the life that's in front of us now.

Instead of deciding if a situation is good or bad, just be thankful for it-- the way it is. Most times are neither good nor bad, unless we attribute those judgements to them. Most things simply are, and they are what they are, at this moment in time.

Go into the moment. Let it be what it is-- free of judgements and comparison. Can you believe how beautiful it is, right now, right here where you are? Why didn't you see that before?

If comparing and judging is draining all the joy out of your life, start putting some fun back in it by applying a little gratitude, instead.

God, help me put the fun back in life by letting each moment be what it is, without comparing it to anything else.

*****

Peeling Away the Layers
Trees Shedding Their Bark by Madisyn Taylor

Like a tree our growth depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need.

Trees grow up through their branches and down through their roots into the earth. They also grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don’t allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can’t expand to our full potential.

Trees need their protective bark to enable the delicate process of growth and renewal to unfold without threat. Likewise, we need our boundaries and defenses so that the more vulnerable parts of ourselves can safely heal and unfold. But our growth also depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need. It is often the case in life that structures we put in place to help us grow eventually become constricting.

Unlike a tree, we must consciously decide when it’s time to shed our bark and expand our boundaries, so we can move into our next ring of growth. Many spiritual teachers have suggested that our egos don’t disappear so much as they become large enough to hold more than just our small sense of self—the boundary of self widens to contain people and beings other than just “me.” Each time we shed a layer of defensiveness or ease up on a boundary that we no longer need, we metaphorically become bigger people. With this in mind, it is important that we take time to question our boundaries and defenses. While it is essential to set and honor the protective barriers we have put in place, it is equally important that we soften and release them when the time comes. In doing so, we create the space for our next phase of growth. Published with permission from Daily OM

*******************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Taking a long hard look at those defects I’m unwilling or reluctant to give up, I ought to rub out the rigid lines I’ve drawn. Perhaps, in some cases, I’ll then be able to say, “well, this one I can’t give up yet…” The one thing I shouldn’t say: “This one I’ll never give up, “ The minute we say, “no, never,” our minds close against the grace of God. Such rebelliousness,l as we have seen in the experiences of others, may turn out to be fatal. Instead, we should abandon limited objectives and begin to move toward God’s will for us. Am I learning never to say “never…”?

Today I Pray

May God remove any blocks of rebellion which make me bulk at changing my undesirable qualities. Out of my delusion that I am “unique” and “special” and somehow safe from consequences, I confess that God that I have defied the natural laws of health sanity, along with Divine laws of human kindness. May God drain away the defiance which is such a protected symptom of my addiction.

Today I Will Remember

Defiance is an offspring of delusion.

*******************************************

One More Day

The essence of optimism is that it … enables a man to hold his head high, to claim the future for himself and not abandon it to his enemy.
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“she always looks to the sour side,” we’ve heard it said, or “He always has a pleasant smile.” The difference, as we all know, between an optimist and a pessimist is entirely in their attitudes. A pessimist sees little, if anything, to look forward to in life. In that case, life is tediously lived. If we think in positive ways, we see the good. That good becomes the primary part of our lives.

An optimist, regardless of personal problems, is eager to arise in the morning — to get to work, to be with friends or family, to live the happiness of the day. People are drawn toward optimists, for their joy shines on everyone around them.

Life is an adventure of choices to be lived, not an ordeal to be survived. I choose optimism and joy.

************************************************** ***************

Food For Thought

Accepting Reality

Failure, death, divorce, disease, and betrayal – these are all part of the world we live in. We agonizingly search our minds to figure out why, but are unable to come up with any satisfying answers. We pray for the serenity to accept the reality of life.

Previously, we tried to deny reality by overeating. What that did was make reality worse for us. Abstaining from compulsive overeating and working the steps of the OA program give us the strength to cope with reality and accept the things we cannot change. We often feel as though we are on a long uphill climb. Let’s not forget that if it were not for abstinence and our Higher Power, we would be rapidly sliding downhill.

Whatever our situation, it is better to face it squarely than to delude ourselves with excess food. None of us escapes pain and suffering. By turning them over to our Higher Power, we are strengthened by our hardships, rather than destroyed.

May we have the courage and strength to accept life as it is.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

PERFECTION
“People throw away what they could have
by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have,
and looking for it where they will never find it.”
Edith Schaeffer

Time and time again I have felt like I was suspended from two ropes, being flogged for my imperfections. The tragic fact of that vision was that I was the person wielding the whip!

Before my heart and mind were opened by the Twelve Steps and Traditions, I sought perfection in everything I attempted. A simple letter would be written and rewritten until I was satisfied that perfection had been achieved and the letter could be sent. Frequently the goal was not reached and I would abandon the project in frustration and bitter disappointment with myself. Events that I organized had to be executed with the utmost precision. If, God forbid, a mistake was made, I would berate myself for days until sheer mental and emotional exhaustion prevailed.

Ironically, I never sought perfection in others and accepted that it was okay for them to be human. However, seeking perfection from myself became an obsession tangled with the search for self-acceptance. Needless to say, a rainbow cannot be seen through closed eyes, and I never found that which I sought. Through the teachings of the Twelve Steps I have come to appreciate that the beauty within myself is that I am not perfect. I can grow through my mistakes, and in my imperfections I can find serenity and release from the struggle.

One Day at a Time ...
I will accept that I am perfectly imperfect.
~ Sue G.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, 'It won't burn me this time, so here's how!' Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, 'For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?' Only to have that thought supplanted by 'Well, I'll stop with the sixth drink.' Or 'What's the use anyhow?'
When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane. These stark and ugly facts have been confirmed by legions of alcoholics throughout history. But for the grace of God, there would have been thousands more convincing demonstrations. So many want to stop but cannot. - Pgs. 24-25 - There Is A Solution

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Many times in beginning sobriety, we have absolutely insane thoughts and feelings! But remember that transformation and insanity often intersect. The process of change is fraught with ambiguity--as long as you don't use, you're OK.

As long as God is running my life, my insanities will be used for the highest good of all and are nothing to be afraid of.

Trauma

This disease is traumatizing. It is shocking. It takes away my sense of normal. It makes people I love unpredictable and scary. It undermines my trust and faith in an orderly and predictable world and in my primary relationships. The earth beneath me feels unsolid, shaky and unreliable. And when I feel like this, I want to hold on tighter, to control, to fix and pin things down so I won't have to feel this way any more. Today I will accept these feelings as natural and I will breath through them and give them space to move through me knowing that there is a new kind of solidity growing daily within me. The power of presence.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen To Good People said that pain is the price we pay for being alive. So instead of wondering why we feel pain, more correctly we should ask, 'What can I do to make my pain mean something more than suffering?'

A No Pain; No Gain/Know Pain; Know Gain

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you're not getting mad at meetings, you're not going to enough meetings.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am discovering who I am. Today I am becoming my person, worthy of developing all of me. Today I am beginning to know that I am okay just the way I am.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I never went to bed with an ugly woman/man, but I sure woke up with a few.- Bobby Bare song.

*****************************************

AA Thought for the Day

August 27

Willingness
A beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed.
Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open,
we find that we can always open it some more.
Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does,
it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 35

Thought to Ponder . . .
What have I been given today? Am I willing to reach out and grasp it?

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
W H O = Willingness, Honesty, Open-mindedness.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Vision
"Vision is, I think, the ability to make good estimates,
both for the immediate and for the more distant future.
Some might feel this sort of striving to be a sort of heresy,
because we AA's are constantly telling ourselves,
'One day at a time.'
But that valuable principle really refers to our
mental and emotional lives and means chiefly
that we are not foolishly to repine over the past
nor wishfully to day-dream about the future. . .
Vision is therefore the very essence of prudence,
an essential virtue if ever there was one."
Bill W., 1962
1962AAWS, Twelve Concepts for World Service, 26th Printing, p. 40

Thought to Consider . . .
The road to recovery is always under construction.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
O D A A T = One Day At A Time

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

All I Could Think Of
From: "A Vision of Recovery"
While in a juvenile detention center about 500 miles from my home, I received word that my mother was dying of
cancer. I was able to get a pass and return home to spend time with her. One evening my family asked me if I would
stay home with my mother and give her the medicine she was required to take. I had already had a few drinks and was
anxious to get out and party with my friends, but I reluctantly agreed to stay. Self-pity set in, and all I could think of was
the good time I could have been having. I got very impatient with my mother, and when she refused to take her
medicine, I almost forced it into her mouth; then I left to join my friends. The next morning I woke up in county jail, about
100 miles from home. I had attempted a break-and-enter, and was caught by the police.
That very evening, as I sat in jail, my mother died.
2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 495-496

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"In the fear of accumulated wealth and bureaucracy, we should not discover an alibi for failure to pay AA's legitimate
service expenses. For fear of controversy, our leadership should not go timid when lively debate and forthright action is a necessity."
AA Co-Founder, Bill W., July 1965
"Responsibility Is Our Theme"
The Language of the Heart

*~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect
produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they
admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the
true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only
normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless
they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes
at once by taking a few drinks, drinks which they see others
taking with impunity."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Doctor's Opinion, pg. xxviii~

"We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown
up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part. The joy
of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill's Story, pg. 15~

“To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude.”
-Alcoholics Anonymous p. 143

“Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets.”
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 75

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

Men who cry for money and shelter as a condition of their sobriety are on the wrong track. Yet we sometimes do
provide a new prospect with these very things - when it becomes clear that he is willing to place his recovery first.
It is not whether we shall give that is the question, but when and how to give. Whenever we put our work on a material
plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon alms rather than upon a Higher Power and the A.A. group. He continues
to insist that he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for.
Nonsense! Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: that, job or no job, wife or no wife, we simply do
not stop drinking so long as we place material dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.

Prayer for the Day: God, Help me to stop and remember that I've made a decision to let You be my God. Give me the right thoughts and actions. God save me from fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions that Your will not mine be done.