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God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine, be done.

January 26

Daily Reflections

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth. --Francoise Giroud
Sometimes we think we need to try and be something we're not. Maybe we feel pressure from friends to behave or dress like someone else. All we need to do is remember when we were younger and dressed in our parents' clothes and shoes. We pretended to be grownups, and it was fun for a while. Then the huge shoes on our feet grew clumsy and uncomfortable and the mountain of rolled-up sleeves kept falling down and getting in the way. Soon we grew tired of the game and stopped pretending. Today when we start feeling the pressure to be someone else, let's remember how hard it is to play a role that doesn't fit us.
What can I do today that is most like me?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Within every man there is the reflection of a woman, and within every woman there is the reflection of a man. Within every man and woman there is also the reflection of an old man and an old woman, a little boy and a little girl. --Hyemeyohsts Storm
This Cheyenne teaching reminds us of our connections - inside ourselves and with other people. Reading this passage, we are seeing it partly with the eyes of that small child who first learned to read. And perhaps, looking in the mirror today, we can see the traces of the old men we are becoming. We have been close to our mothers or sisters or lovers and have found parts of ourselves in them. By gently welcoming the children we once were, the old men we will be, the part of us that has a woman's outlook, we become wiser, stronger, and more spiritual.
We don't need to be frightened or disrespectful of the parts of ourselves that don't feel 100 percent virile. We can have virility and many other sides too. Such awareness creates peace with ourselves.
I will notice the reflection of small children in old faces, old people in children's faces, and men and women in each other.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart,
Then people gonna treat you better.
You're gonna find, yes, you will,
That you're beautiful as you feel.
--Carole King
"Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows.
Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally; focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us.
The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about.
My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Off The Hook
We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors in relationships - behaviors such as caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies.
We can learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked.
Often, people do things consciously or without thinking that pulls us into a series of our self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. More often than not, these hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable.
Someone may stand before us and hint or sigh about a problem, knowing or hoping that hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That is manipulation.
When people stand around us and hint and sigh about something, then coyly say, "Oh, never mind, that's not for you to worry about," that's a game. We need to recognize it. We're about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen.
We can learn to insist that people ask us directly for what they want and need.
What are the words, the signs, the looks, the hints, and the cues that hook us into a predictable and often self-defeating behavior?
What makes you feel sympathy? Guilt? Responsible for another?
Our strong point is that we care so much. Our weak point is that we often underestimate the people with whom we're dealing. They know what they're doing. It is time we give up our naive assumption that people don't follow agendas of their own in their best interest, and not necessarily in ours.
We also want to check ourselves out. Do we give out hooks, looks, hints, hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct and honest manner with others, instead of expecting them to rescue us.
If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us directly for it. Require the same from us. If someone baits the hook, we don't have to bite it.
Today, I will be aware of the hooks that snag me into the caretaking acts that leave me feeling victimized. I will ignore the hints, looks, and words that hook me, and wait for the directness and honesty others, and I deserve.


Nothing can stop me from growing today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

See Life Through the Eyes of Your Soul

Once many, many years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. Only I wasn’t in bed sleeping. I was on the ceiling looking down at my body lying on the bed. I studied myself, a little surprised at how unusual I looked from the outside. The next thing I knew, I was back in bed. My soul reconnected with my body. That experience was the beginning of a journey that led me to understand I was more than a body. I had a soul. I was about to embark on a path that would consciously connect me to that soul– experiences on the path to freeing my soul.

Throughout my life, I have had many conscious desires and expectations about my life. I wanted this, I wanted that. I wanted my life to be arranged just so. What I’ve understood over time is that the journey I’m taking is not one based on arranging my life in a particular way, then keeping it just so. The journey I’ve been on and what I’ve been seeking has been the journey of my soul.

Much in life can cause us distress and discomfort when we look with our conscious mind. But if we look beyond what we can see on the surface, we’ll begin to see with the eyes of the soul. The lessons run deep. Often they take time to learn. We learn about power. We learn about love. Courage. Faith. Saying good-bye. Embracing deep love for ourselves.

Learn to see life with the eyes of your soul. Experience all the emotions that are there. Discover your truths. Seek conscious peace as much as you can, and seek peace in your soul as well. Let your soul lead you through meadows and take you down deep into the valleys, for all your experiences are just that– experiences– on this mysterious journey of the soul.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Be a thermostat

There’s a thermometer on my back porch. It tells me when it’s hot enough to go for a swim.

Inside the house, there’s a thermostat. The thermostat not only tells us how hot or cold it is, but will actually do something about it as well. If the temperature gets too warm, the thermostat tells the air conditioner to cool off the house. If it gets too cool, the thermostat tells the heater to warm things up a bit.

Which are you? Are you a thermometer– only reflecting the attitudes of those around you? Or are you a thermostat– determining your own course of action and following through with it? Thermometer people often know where they are; they just don’t do anything about it. I’m stuck in this relationship. I’m really angry, resentful, and upset. Thermostat people are aware of where they are,too. They just choose to do something about it, as well. I’m in this relationship, and I will do everything that I can to improve it. But if necessary, I will walk away from it.

Being a thermostat means we take appropriate action to take care of ourselves.

God, help me learn to respond to whatever environment I’m in by taking appropriate actions to take care of myself.

*****************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close are the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The key word is this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through The Program, I am learning to develop my own personality. Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies?

today I Pray

May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own person hood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms.

Today I Will Remember

Take the liberty; it’s yours.

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One More Day

In human relationships, closeness and warmth only occur when we ask about one another . . . when we seek to know how we can help one another. Until we ask, we will never know. – Bernard S. Raskas

Who are our close friends? We should cherish friendships and protect them as vigorously as we would a newborn infant.

When a friend comes to us needing our help, we are forced into making a decision. One choice — abandonment — means we lose a friend. The other option means that the question, “What can I do to help you?” is no longer rhetorical, it is a commitment to helpfulness. We may even have to put ourselves at risk, especially emotionally, but we can bee a friend who stays around when a crisis occurs.

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Food For Thought

Planning

There is a saying in our group to the effect that if we fail to plan, we plan to fail. If we do not have a food plan each day, we leave ourselves vulnerable to the attack of impulse and old habit.

Most of us find that we need to write down our three measured meals. Many of us continue to call them in to a food sponsor, even after the initial twenty-one days of abstinence. We can then go about the activities of the day without worrying about what we will eat. We become free to live without being obsessed with food.

Our pride often balks at the thought of calling another person and asking for help. We do not like to be committed to an eating plan. Let's remember that we tried to go it alone our own way, and that old way did not work. Let's be willing to try a new way that has worked for hundreds of OA members who are now at normal weight.

By Thy Grace, Lord, may I follow my food plan today.

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One Day At A Time

~ HOPE ~

In the hour of adversity be not without hope,
For crystal rain falls from black clouds.
Persian poem

When I was a child, I lived in a fantasy world and dreamed of all the wonderful things that would happen to me when I grew up. I would have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a fulfilling job and, of course, I would be thin. Unfortunately the fantasy never materialized, and even when I did lose weight my life wasn't the perfect life that I had envisioned. I would lose weight and then promptly regain it. Life in general seemed so empty and futile. No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work. I hated myself and my life; it often seemed pointless to go on.

When I walked into the doors of the first meeting I ever attended, there was something on the faces of the people I met there. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I saw something that I wanted. It wasn't that they were all thin, because many of them were not. So what was it that these people had that I didn't? What they had was the hope of recovery. If they were willing to reach out to a Higher Power of their understanding, and if they would work the program one day at a time, then this would guarantee them recovery.

I didn't know what recovery meant then. Because all I wanted was to lose weight, and because I wanted what they had, I was prepared to do what they were doing. I realized then that it wasn't only about the weight, although that does play a part. These people were learning how to live their life sanely, and even when they struggled with life, as we do from time to time, there was always the hope that they could get through those difficult times by using the tools and reaching out to others in the fellowship.

One Day at a Time . . .
Even when I am going through difficult times and the future looks gloomy, I have hope that it will get better if I'm willing to work a simple program.
~ Sharon S. ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. - Pg. 152 - A Vision For You

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Sometimes we are confused about what to do. But we tell people, 'Do the next right thing.' We do know what is right and what is wrong from the age of seven. Often our mind tries to muddy our thinking by making excuses or rationalizing. You really do know the right thing to do.

Higher Power, of my understanding, please let me respond to the right and wrong of my Higher Self--for the basic knowledge that was once so clear.

Shifting My Feeling States

When I shift my own thinking and feeling states, I shift my body states as well, because emotions travel through me as body chemicals. In a way, I am what I think about all day. I can shift what I am feeling by consciously changing my thoughts and I can shift what I'm thinking, by consciously evening out my emotional states. I will place my attention on my heart and imagine myself in a calm and serene state. As my heart calms, so does my body. When I can consciously breathe in and out of my heart zone, and imagine that part of me entering a state of ease and serenity, I actually contribute to my emotional, psychological and physical health.

I calm my heart

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Egoism isn't necessarily thinking a lot of yourself--just thinking of yourself a lot.

I begin this day by thinking of another first. Who is distressed or frightened that I may offer words of comfort?

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Alcoholism is an incurable disease; loneliness is not.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Nothing can stop me from growing today.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I'm hardest to love when I need love the most. - Anon.

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AA Thought for the Day

January 26

Acceptance
When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away.
>From that moment on, I have not had a single compulsion to drink.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 417

Thought to Ponder . . .
My serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
A A = Acknowledge Acceptance.

~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~

Prayer

"In AA we have found that the actual
good results of prayer are beyond question.
They are matters of knowledge and experience.
All those who have persisted have found
strength not ordinarily their own.
They have found wisdom beyond their
usual capability.
And they have increasingly found a peace of mind
which can stand firm in the face of
difficult circumstances."

Bill W., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 104
As Bill Sees It, p. 127

Thought to Consider . . .
Trying to pray is praying.

*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
PUSH
Pray Until Something Happens

*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*

Bottom
>From "Total Acceptance":
"The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: 'If I don't get a
drink I'm going to die,' competed with 'If I continue drinking it's going to kill me.' Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism  with no reservations whatsoever 
and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found
out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program."
1990 AAWS, Inc.; Daily Reflections, pg. 13

*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*

"Perhaps for some, 'How It Work' has become a tired, overworked bit of dogma, an opportunity to daydream. But not for
this alcoholic. I get more out of those words with each passing day. The words don't change, but I do."
Paradise, Calif.,October 2003
"How It Work' Works for Me,"
Beginners' Book:
Getting and Staying Sober in AA

~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*

"Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and
our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent
ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our
own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved
our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, Page 60~

"Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-
believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream
world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a
growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come
to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him,
but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where
our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done.
These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible
between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy
usefulness."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 130~

We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 21

Misc. AA Literature - Quote

The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore, dependence as A.A. practices it is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit.
At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious of that dependence. Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to its interior. By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flows just where it is needed. Silently and surely, electricity, that strange energy so few people understand, meets our simplest daily needs.
Though we readily accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principle when asked to apply it as a means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly, we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours.

Prayer for the Day:  Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord. Let your Holy Spirit guide me in my prayer and in thought, and grant me the grace to listen and hear your Word. Soften my heart, that I may be directed by your truth, and not the devices of my body and mind. In the name of Christ I ask this, Amen.

Ask and you shall receive,
Seek and ye shall find,
Knock and it shall be opened unto you.
Matthew 7:7

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